Thursday, May 15, 2014

Home Alone.

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Instax Wall
8 days. That's how long I've been home alone for. My mum and her partner are currently somewhere in Canada exploring and most likely shopping while I'm stuck at home.

It seems like a lot has happened in those 8 days. A girl at work left and I didn't get to say goodbye because it was last minute, my brother 'came out' to me (even though I already knew), I've had lots of strange psychic moments or things others would call "coincidences" (I don't believe in coincidences) that I don't usually have.

Doing the dishes, laundry and in general just trying to keep the house in order has been a challenge. I'm a creative person who likes to be surrounded by mess and chaos - of course there's something great about a neat, clean house but I don't function in one. Trying to contain the chaos has been difficult - near impossible.

Most of my time has been spent playing The Sims 3 in preparation for The Sims 4, watching television shows (24 and The Voice Australia mostly) and contemplating what I'm doing with my life in the next couple of years. I've saved around $6000 that I was planning on using when I moved to Sydney but I'm starting to think maybe Sydney isn't the right place for me. It may sound absurd to think that for anyone that knows me but when I think of my life, my future, it involves a white picket fence, a bunch of kids and a lovely husband. That's the dream, what I truly want. I don't want to waste money on rent for a really crappy place that doesn't feel like home. I'm an introvert and need a nice place to come home to at the end of the day. I've considered living nearly everywhere in the country - even Tasmania. But I know I need to be near a capital city, that's all I have to go off right now. It's funny that no one ever tells you how hard it is being in your twenties, older people just say it was the best time of their life. The girl that left for England said to me before she left that she thinks I'll come into my own in my 30s. She's probably right. I always thought it would be this year - at 22 years of age but it just hasn't been. It's been a mess to be honest.

Cats. I want one. There was a story on the news the other day where the RSPCA said they were basically just going to give away cats for whatever you were willing to pay as they are so over capacity and although I've never been a cat person it's made me really want one. I think my lifestyle is quite compatible with a cat's.

Not sure exactly how to end this post but I think I should stop rambling now. Please let me know if you have any thoughts on anything I said - where I should live in particular. I'm kind of at the point now where I need all the suggestions I can get because I'm out of ideas.


  1. I really agree with almost everything in this post. My friend moved to Melbourne recently and she keeps telling me how wonderful it is and it's kind of making me really want to move out of home. For the past few months I feel like I need to go somewhere new. I've lived in the same house all my life, but I don't know the first place to start! (of course, I'm only 18 at the moment, but hopefully in the not so distant future I'll move out) For some reason I have this idea in my head that the ages 23 & 24 are the best age to be. I don't know why but everyone I know who is that age seems really happy with where they are in life and know what they want to do, but I bet when I reach that age I won't be! I don't really have a direction for my life to go in at the moment either which is really overwhelming at times.

    Anyway sorry for rambling!
    x Erin

    1. As we start to grow up I think we just want freedom - something for ourselves to explore. It's hard to do that when you still depend on your parents. It's quite frustrating!

      I'm hoping being 23 will be amazing - I think it'll be tough as it's the year I'm definitely moving out of home but hopefully it'll be wonderful at the same time. :)

      This may or may not help you but I feel no closer to doing what I'm meant to be doing than I did at 18. However, I've found out so much more about myself and am a million times more comfortable in my own skin. I really think the years between 18-23 are all about soul searching and figuring out who you really are without the pressures of high school. Hopefully once we find ourselves the career stuff falls into place a bit more.

      Thanks for the comment Erin x

  2. I think you so should move to Melbourne so we can hang and just watch MMFD together and go on stationary shopping sprees. I think it's awesome that you've decided to move out though, it's very brave. I am 3000% sure that I will live my entire life under my parents roof because I just know I will never ever leave. Also well done on the time home alone! I have been at home by myself once and it wasn't even that long ago it was like 2012 and I locked myself in my room with a dresser in front of the door in case someone tried to get in the house and rob me. Like that is a thing I actually did.

    Also, you should definitely get a pet! They're such great companions, it's amazing how much they can lift your spirits everyday and just bring so much joy into your life. I would be lost without my two puppies, they are my life!

    Anyway, great post! And I love the pic at the top!

    1. That would actually be AMAZING. Definitely something to consider; I had a great time in Melbourne last time I was there and met some amazing people at a Glee convention of all places haha.

      Wow! Yeah it can definitely be scary being home alone. Honestly I do get freaked out being by myself sometimes but I spend a lot of time at home alone where no one would know if I was home or not and nothing has ever happened. We've been robbed twice before but I know who it was (a girl at school & her gang friends) and it was before we got our alarm.

      I would totally go and get a cat if my mum would let me. This is why I need to move out - so I can have a pet! I really wanted a dog for a while there but I think a cat is definitely more my style. :)

      Thanks Holly <3

  3. I think what you should do is truly explore every state in Australia. You call call me a cliché WA representative, but here it's easy to breathe. If you're looking for an airy, open space with lovely houses to call your own and a well-paced lifestyle, it could be the place for you. Only downside is that WA misses out on a whole lot of exciting activity that all happens over in the eastern states. I'd gladly swap places with you for a week, just to get out there and see how different it is. Do give things a shot, and don't worry about the 20s having to be all about the independent fun. Nothing is ever as accurately portrayed as it is, it's subjective for everyone. So take your time, do what makes you happy and live each day as it comes. x

    1. I've considered WA but it's so expensive! Also the lack of concerts would be a problem :P

      Thanks for the sweet words Rachel ♥♥

  4. I know what you mean...I always wanted to live in London but I visited the Scottish countryside and I can't believe how much I love it. I went back to London and realized, even though the city is fantastic and you can never get bored of it, I just don't exactly fit in there. I would still like to live in a city at some point in my life because it has always been a dream of mine, but not long term. I want a kitty too, or a little puppy to cuddle at night. Good luck, I know you'll figure it out :)

    1. Oh the Scottish countryside sounds lovely! It's so hard finding the right place for you - where you feel like you belong. I agree that London seems like a great city but I think it seems very cold and unwelcoming at the same time.

      Thanks for the luck Ashley, I need it! x

  5. You have such a lovely style of writing. I completely agree about the clean house thing - I write a lot but always best when I'm surrounded by 'organised mess'.
    Meena | Meena Means Me

    1. Thank you for the lovely compliment Meena! I actually reread this post and though "wow that is a mess" haha! It's like all the things I thought that conjoined it I didn't write but oh well.

      Somehow I can clean my entire desk and then after being at it for 5 minutes stuff is everywhere!


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