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Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Top 10 Things I'm Scared Of

The real world scares me. My head is a utopia; it's all rainbows and butterflies and equality and love. Everything works out there the way you want it to. Everyone gets to pursue passions and interests and help out people. We have time for things that make us happy and the concept of money is non-existent. There's nothing to be scared of there.


But here, on Earth, there is a lot to be scared of. The world is unpredictable - people do stupid things that hurt others without thinking of the consequences and the way society is structured hurts everyone. Either you're judged and treated like a lesser person because of futile things such as your skin colour, sexuality, gender, age and appearance. Or you fit in for the most part, but have to do things you don't enjoy.

Nearly three years ago I wrote a post on my Top 10 Regrets and surprisingly it went down pretty well. I expected some criticism as I listed some things on that list that were really awful and made me sick writing them, but people were very supportive.

Without further ado, here is a list of the Top 10 Things I'm Scared Of.

  1. No one will ever fall in love with me. I know this is something that most people are scared of, but when you reach 23 and have never experienced romantic love, your fear multiplies. Sometimes I wonder how people meet and fall in love at all because it seems so impossible.  
  2. I'll never own my own house. I know it's not easy to own a house, but it is such a dream of mine to either build or renovate my own home and make it perfect. I'm such a homebody which means my home is one of the most important things to me.
  3. Not having financial security. It's quite a standard fear on everyone's list but not having financial security truly terrifies me.
  4. I can't have children. I have this fear that I have PCOS and won't be able to have children. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to have kids and if I can't I'll be devastated. 
  5. That I have no talent. I have a lot of interests and passion, but what if I am unable to channel that into something useful. 
  6. I'm weak. For years I thought I was strong and have build up resilience but what if it can all crumble in less time than it takes to snap your fingers. 
  7. That I can't survive in what adults call "the real world". To be honest, I don't want to live in the real world at all, but I worry that everyone adapts to it easier than I do. The "real world" feels foreign to me at this stage of life and I don't know if I can, or even want to survive in it.
  8. My career will never progress. I think this is a fear for most people, but some of my best skills are in admin positions and we all know that admin personnel are at the bottom of the corporate ladder. I fear I won't have the chance to progress higher than that.
  9. Never seeing the world. I didn't think this is something I would ever add to this list as I am quite a homebody, but I think it's a pity to not see more of the planet than just the city or country you were born in. I'm lucky to have been to a couple of countries already on family holidays, but I would like to see more of it on my own. 
  10. Mostly I'm scared these fears will keep me from doing and experiencing beautiful, great things. 

Please let me know something you're scared of in the comments below, and how you choose to conquer it. ♥

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