Friday, October 30, 2015

October 20

Just over a week ago was my Dad's birthday. He would have been 53 years old. He died at just 38 years old and it's honestly so strange to imagine him at 53. He's eternally going to be 38 to my brother and I, and 18-38 for my mother. So much time has passed and yet he is immortalised in our minds and hearts at such a young age.

In some ways my dad is everywhere. I see him in my brother, in my mother, and in his possessions left behind. I feel him in my heart and experience him through my memories.

I believe that my dad, nan and pop all communicate with birds. Birds appear and start chirping like crazy whenever I think about them; like right now writing this post three birds just came and landed on my balcony and started chirping very loudly. Some people think that's crazy, but as a spiritual person that believes our souls are limitless, I believe it to be true.

The day after his birthday, I was booked in to see a psychic at a new age store near work. She was spot on about a lot of things; my mum's mum (nan) had come through first and mentioned something about a baby. I had no idea what she was talking about as the last baby born into our family was nearly two years ago, but not even 7 hours later my mum received a text message from my cousin with a picture of an ultrasound announcing her pregnancy.

My favourite part of the reading was as follows:

Is there a picture in your necklace?
Who is it?
"My dad."
He wants to acknowledge a recent celebration.
"It was his birthday yesterday."
Well that's it. He wants to thank you for the message. You did say Happy Birthday, didn't you?
He wants to thank you for that.

I think the day passed quicker than any of his other birthdays over the last 15 years because I'm finally at peace with it. For 15 years my grief showed; it was obvious to the world. My mum and brother hid theirs away and got on with life, but I think deep down that they now struggle more than I do.

My brother wrote the following passionate piece on dad's birthday.

For those of you who don't know, my dad passed away 15 years ago when I was 6. I never got the chance to know him and I'm furious that I never will. Today would have been his birthday. Happy birthday Dad. I love you and miss you every day.

It breaks my heart that he was so young and doesn't have as many memories as I am fortunate to have. We all deserved more time than we got, but the love that our family of four had was so strong that we didn't need it for a whole lifetime.


  1. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel, having lost your dad at such a young age. I'm glad you're finally at peace with it.
    I don't see why birds can't be messengers. I believe that stars are. I suppose our theories can all be true.

    Not enough people talk about death. I'm glad that you had the courage to do so.


    1. Thank you for the lovely comment Yasmine. x


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