I've written about changes on this blog before as it's kind of a thing that I've always struggled with. Change has always been thrust onto me while I try to hide from it. My life is a blank canvas right now and it's up to me to decide what my life is going to be and take the steps to make my dreams a reality. The problem is that I'm scared to make things happen. Everything has just kind of happened in my life in the past while I worked on my mental and emotional health but now I'm great and it's tie for me to take the reigns in regards to my own life.
Something I was really scared to do last time I updated was to get my wisdom teeth out. Surprisingly, it went really well and smoothly. Every time I've been scared of something it's never as bad as I made it out to be in my head and even though I've overcome many of my fears, for some reason fear of rejection keeps me from putting myself out there.
Honestly, the majority of my time over the last couple of months has been spent relaxing and doing a lot of reading and research on spirituality and souls. I'm finding more and more that those are the types of topics I'm interested in and it's hard to connect with others that don't have the same interest or passion. One of the recurring themes I kept hearing was about how you can live out of love, or out of fear. I used to use the word 'hate' a lot but now it has disappeared from my vocabulary and been replaced with fear instead. I really think love versus fear is something worth thinking about. They are both very powerful emotions that affect us all on a daily basis and shape the way we live our lives. I really don't think religion is for me (even if this song is really catchy and sentimental), but I really want to explore spirituality a lot more.
To make sure I begin to make changes, this is my current list of goals for the next 12 months:
- Learn to drive (get my P's by February)
- Get a job
- Move out